Artemis Fowl and the Truth in Blood
by WamprickNyx
Summary: LEP catches a vampire in HQ. Secrets are revealed. And when the demon is unleashed, the duty to save the world lands in the hands of a certain Mud Boy, a female elf, an odd vampire and a kleptomaniac dwarf. Warning inside! ON HIATUS
1. Prologue: The Captive

**WARNING! Read on your own account. This story, at least this chapter, contains a lot of cursing so beware. And the whole story won't be so innocent, either. There'll be violent themes, blood, possible torture, as mentioned before a lot of cursing, possible character death and maybe even adult themes - but probably not the last part. The rating will change if said adult themed scenes take place.**

**You are warned. So, don't want it, don't read it.**

**A/N: **I better add this before I forget. The story takes place after OD, and ignores the rest. There's Minerva, though. Her connection to Artemis will be explained later.

**Story Summary: **LEP catches a vampire who is sent to steal information about Artemis Fowl II. Secrets are revealed. And when the demon is unleashed, the duty to save the world lands in the hands of a certain Mud Boy chesty as a peacock, a female elf who tends to resort to violence in _certain_ cases, a weird vampire with anxiety attacks and a kleptomaniac dwarf full of bad jokes. And of course, the pony boy, ahem, the centaur, I mean, who is the most intelligent being in the universe, needless to say, after Artemis Fowl II. Sorry, pony, Arty pays the bills.

**Chapter Summary: **A vampire is caught by LEP during her mission which includes collecting information about Artemis Fowl II and observing him. She is currently residing in a little stony cell in the Police Plaza, Haven City and busy reflecting on her past, trying to find a way out of her cell and blaming herself for being such an idiot.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Artemis Fowl. If I did, there would be no Minerva in the fifth book. Instead of her, there would be me and I would make Artemis unbelievably frustrated and he would lose his sanity and his family would send him to an asylum and I'd make sure to get the cell next to him and finally cause him to commit suicide and follow him to the Hell and make him regret his existence. MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Ahem ahem, as you and any other sane person can guess, there's no way all these could have happened. Therefore, Artemis Fowl and other characters you recognize aren't mine but Eoin Colfer's, who - unfortunately - refuses to swap places with me. Even though I told him he could eat as many chocolate covered cookies my aunt makes as he wanted! He's definitely off his rocker, guys. After a loooong and pointless disclaimer which, I'm positive, bored you to death, I present youuu-

**Artemis Fowl and the Truth in Blood**

**Prologue: The Captive**

I am _not_ stupid enough to make this mistake. _I am not._ Then, why the hell am I sitting in this little stony cell, waiting for those stupid fairies to come back so I can annoy them to death?

Yes, I am stupid. There is no other explanation. I am a pathetic excuse for a vampire, an utter fool, the queen of idiots. If I wasn't such a dimwit, I'd be returning to the headquarters with the information we needed. And then, we'd gather and make a plan. Yes, that was what was supposed to happen.

I ruined it all. I ruined the whole damned operation. (I'm not even sure if it's one but Ilona said so..) It is me to blame here, no other person. Had I been strong enough, alert and ready for this darned mission, none of these would happen. I would go and take a look at the boy to see if he was the one Ilona was talking about, gather all the information I could find about him, and then safely return to the headquarters. But no, of course, my luck had to intervene to make sure I was miserable enough. Just identifying someone and collecting information about him, such an easy mission, turned out to be the most unpleasant and uncomfortable one I've ever seen. At least I completed the information part.

I sigh. A rather deep one. As deep as it can get.

This grey, stony little cell is irritating me. Dammit, why did those fairies have to put me into such a little hole? I can see why they have such small cells, since they are all shorties, but can't they see I'm getting a bit uncomfortable here?

I guess they can't. Or maybe they enjoy this, watching me squirm in discomfort. If I ever get out of this cell, I'll find a way to make _them_ squirm, I swear in the name of the Gods. I'll make them squeal like small human children, and in the most unmanly way as possible. I'll rip some heads off, too. I will enjoy it with every fiber of my being. Did I mention that I'd turn their little underground city into a real, cozy hell? And I'll-

Oh, who am I kidding? I won't do anything to them. I'm sure Ilona doesn't want any harm coming to them, so I won't harm them (not that I'd be able to do it all by myself anyway, about the "turning the city into a cozy hell" part, I mean). Well, now that I think, I don't remember her mention anything about watching them squirm or ripping some parts of their bodies and squealing in delight, so I'm guessing I'm able to do one of these. She just said "No creative death plans or you will see the light of day", right? Well, surely these are NOT creative. Even a wiggling worm would find a better plan. Oh Gods! Now I'm comparing myself to a worm. What the heck has happened to me, really? I must be losing my head.

We don't have those stupid rules those fairies have, I'm most grateful for that. That means, using magic isn't forbidden. In my case, manipulating fire that is. I'd be glad to make thathuman boy dance around by throwing fireballs at him. He's a pretty good dancer, I'm sure. But then Ilona would be angry at me for touching her _precious_ soon-to-be mate (though I hope he isn't, he seems too arrogant for his own sake), and I'd be dead, _again. _If she hears me joking about him becoming her mate, I'd be dead thrice. I don't want to risk any chance I have (which isn't much) by getting into trouble with her.

Dammit, I'm already in trouble. She'll have my head this time. These goddamn shorties caught me. Me, Alaya Miren Ibarron, who is the best expert at playing hide and seek in the whole clan (a very hard job, mind you), is caught by a green dressed shorty, a very hairy shorty, a human boy that suspiciously resembles a vampire, a giant human and a pony.

This really _is_ ridiculous.

I hate myself. How could I laugh there, during a mission? I wasn't supposed to _laugh_, I wasn't even supposed to _breathe_! But come on, that joke was _funny_. Or maybe it wasn't. Now that I think about it, the others were simply gazing at the hairy one blankly.

Shit! I'm even more depressed now. I ruined the whole mission by laughing, and at a _bad joke _to top it all! Ilona will definitely rip my heart and head off, then feed the other parts of my corpse to some animals I haven't even heard of. I'd rather have these fairies kill me. Ilona is too ruthless and deadly for me when she loses her temper. Yes, she is. I'm not so bloodthirsty. Well, she is a lot merciful when it comes to people in need, except me. The day she is merciful to me about screwing up something so important to her will be the day the Earth stops spinning. I guess I deserve it. I ruined everything, didn't I?

What I need to do is to focus on the problem at hand. A solution, I need a so-lu-tion... Yes, there _is_a problem: I have to escape from this little cell. And the solution _is_- I don't know. I just... don't know. What am I to do? What can I do to get out of here? What is the damn _solution_!?

A way out... I've got to find a way out. A solution, that's _exactly _what I need. Why can't I just come up with an idea? It isn't this hard for Ilona. She just sits on that blasted armchair of hers, closes her eyes, thinks for a while, and when she opens them she has a brilliant, foolproof plan. It's so easy for her, so hard for me. Maybe I have other talents, but really, right now, it would be incredibly beneficial for me to have the gift she has rather than an elemental gift.

I hate my fate. And my life, or should I say, my existence, since I technically don't live anymore. I mean, I'm a bloody vampire, so how can I live if I'm dead? That proves it. I don't live anymore. I'm unhappy. I don't have a way out. I doubt I'll ever have. I'm getting more and more desperate and pessimistic. I keep repeating myself like an idiot. oh, wait, that's normal: I _am_ an idiot!

Just a salvation. A small, almost invisible way out. Just this once, please. If there's a God out there, even though I'm not sure you exist, hence I don't believe in you, could you be so kind as to grant me a good, foolproof escape plan? Please? What about puppy-dog eyes?

I'm blabbering. I must be panicking. Okay, I _am_ panicking. I've got to find a way out of this, I've really got to.

I'm drawing a blank.

I sigh. Again. Much deeper this time. I didn't think it was possible the last time.

I need to focus, focus on making a good, solid, foolproof plan. In this kind of situations, I think, I won't be able to plan something that will work. I'm not much of a planner, I just carry out the missions, not plan them. Ilona is the brains, not me.

It definitely doesn't mean I'm stupid or anything like that, it's just that... I've never been much of a thinker. I just... do what Ilona says and it's perfectly fine by me, because she knows what to do and what not to do. We don't have a slave-master relationship, but _she_ made me the way I am now, a vampire, to save me from a horrible death at the hands of humans that were about to burn me for they thought of me as a _witch._

Argh, I keep blabbering. _Again. _I still don't have a plan. I'm still desperate and I think I better go hang myself. Dammit! I don't have that luxury, hanging a vampire is useless. And I really don't know how I can commit suicide by throwing fireballs at myself. I really-

Goodness! I think I have a plan. Maybe blabbering _does_ help the situation a bit. Better test this new and rather pointless theory of mine. If the God out there helped me find this and this works out (somehow I doubt it will, but I'm a natural doubter anyway), I promise, although I'm probably a wicked creature that has no place in your Heaven and will go straight to the Hell, I will start believing you like my Mama would want me to. I don't know how, but I will. Honestly. Scouts' honour!

Let's see if these oh-so-mighty doors can actually stand such high temperatures my fireballs are going to bestow upon them?

**A low hiss.**

Oh, come on! You can do this, my beloved fireballs, just a bit more, please, deeper!

**A louder hiss.**

Alright, a bit more and we're finished. I can do this, we can do this! We've gotta escape, dearies, just a bit more effort!

**CRACK!**

YES! That's it, girls! We've done it, we have! Great! We can now es-

"It seems our new guest is eager to leave so soon, don't you think Butler? We should, I believe, put her in a cell with fireproof doors, the ones LEP uses for the goblins since this lady shares common features with them, in order to prevent her departure. It is, after all, too soon to rid ourselves of her curious presence. The situation certainly warrants a change of scenery."

Oh, no. That's the human boy. He's standing right in front of what's left of the once-standing door. I never thought this much sarcasm could be put in three sentences. He certainly likes sarcasm. I think I like him now.

A bit.

Another human, the giant one I've seen earlier, has just nodded and I felt a small tingle which I could have called fear had I been human. If it isn't fear, then why can't I take a further glance at the man? What exactly has taken over me? I, a full-fledged vampire, Alaya Miren Ibarron, is cowering in front of a mere human?

"She does seem to want that, sir. We can certainly arrange that cell."

I'm in deep shi- trouble, I mean. Ilona doesn't like cursing. Oh, fuck it, I've been cursing the whole day. Ilona won't hear me cursing, I'm too far away.

He smirks.

"I'd like to take this interrogation session we will have to an earlier date. We can have a nice discussion in the interrogation room, where you will not be able to use your heart-warming abilities for your own benefit."

I take that "I think I'll start to like this boy, oh how joyful I am to make a new friend!" part back. It's the opposite. I think I hate him.

A lot.

"I take this as a yes, miss. Tomorrow is a nice day, sunny and warm, I'm sure you'd appreciate the warmth." Yes, sure. I smirk this time.

"You take _this_ as a yes, Artemis Fowl Junior."

A rude hand gesture. Rather juvenile, I know. However, it will stay between us three, I'm sure. I don't think the fairies would be so perverted that they would put cameras to these little cells.

Wait, they have to put, to ensure the prisoner is still in the cell and all. And the booming laughter of the shorties on two floors above us is enough proof. I'd be laughing too, if I were them. Too bad, I'm _not_.

The human boy merely raises an eyebrow.

"Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength, miss. I assume you aren't aware of the fact. And it's Artemis Fowl II, not Junior. You, as well as your sources, should be aware of this fact."

He's one damn arrogant git, I'll give him that. I like arrogant people. Yet it's hard to say I like the boy. I'm not about to develop sudden feelings for him or symphatize with him because of some stupid Stockholm Syndrome, thank you very much. That's for losers. The only thing I might ever want from him would be his blood. Now that I think about him, it seems his blood smell a bit too nice. Mmm, A+, I guess...

"I don't care if it's Junior or not. What I care about is that I want you to release me an you'll do it. Or you'll face my wrath. I can easily burn your scrawny ass, Fowl. And I'd enjoy every minute of it, just like I enjoyed it before on various others. You should have heard their screams."

He turns his back to me without answering and beckons to the giant to follow him. Before he leaves the giant alone with me, he says one more thing that freezes me.

"The interrogation, Miss Ibarron, will not be as entertaining for you as it will be for me. I'll make sure of that. I will also make your stay here, in Haven, as long as possible. Don't ever delude yourself that your... extraordinary situation would prompt me to have any sympathy towards you."

Damn. He knows my name. He knows what I am, or has a strong guess.

If he knows my name, and what exactly I am, then he knows about the others, perhaps about Ilona as well. Does he know her surname and background? I don't think so. However, if he knows my name, it is only because I let him. What did I say to him to guess my real name?

Damn. He said he won't let me go. For a long time. Ilona will kill me. If she doesn't, I'll die from boredom here in this little cell. It's a lose-lose situation. How friggin' wonderful.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have just declared myself officially dead. Again. Bring no flowers to my grave, well, I assume you wouldn't be able to even if you wanted to. I'm in the underground, where the Fairy City called Haven is. Like the so-called Heaven, huh? It will be the opposite for me, though.

Most likely, that is.

* * *

**A/N: **So what do you think? Is it good? Is it bad? Is it nonsense? Does it make sense? You like Alaya? You hate her and her endless ramblings? Just review! You'll be doing a favour to me and yourself!

Review and make me happy, will you? I'm so unhappy, so miserable, so desolate, so- Well, you get the meaning. A few reviews, even the ones commenting on my lack of talent, would be greatly appreciated. I admire every form of constructive criticism. Knowing that someone spent his or her time to correct my mistakes is a great thing.

By the way, I don't mean flames. They aren't considered "comments" in my book. Sorry to disappoint.

About the prologue... I wanted to write an interrogation scene in a dark and mysterious room with our arrogant, sarcastic Artemis and my poor, desperate vampire who has a very odd sense of humour - not as bad as Luna Lovegood, though. It turned out to be like this. I will never want to write something I visualise in my mind next time, or you'll end up reading about Artemis and penguins. In Hawaii. Yes, that bad.

The quote "Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strength." is Eric Hoffer's, not mine.

Oh, and the name "Alaya Miren Ibarron" is Basque, for those who want to know.

Next: The Interrogation Scene!

Nyxiee

**Edit (Apr 3, 2013):** It's been years since I last read this story and it's a bit embarrassing to see how bad I wrote. I made some changes to this chapter and will be doing so for the other as well, and maybe even continue this story sometime.


	2. Chapter 1: The Interrogation

**edit (Apr 5, 2013): **Right, so I changed stuff. Edited it a bit, tried to get rid of the contradictions and all. Didn't do a very good job but at least I'm less horrified now when I read it.

**WARNING! **This chapter has references to the earlier mentioned adult themes and a lot of cursing. There's also the killing instinct of Alaya, so blood thirst is on the list, either. You are warned.

**Story Summary: **LEP catches a vampire who is sent to steal information about Artemis Fowl II. Secrets are revealed. And when the demon is unleashed, the duty to save the world lands in the hands of a certain Mud Boy chesty as a peacock, a female elf who tends to resort to violence in _certain_ cases, a weird vampire with anxiety attacks and a kleptomaniac dwarf full of bad jokes. And of course, the pony boy, ahem, the centaur, I mean, who is the most intelligent being in the universe, needless to say, after Artemis Fowl II. Sorry, pony, Arty pays the bills.

**Chapter Summary:** Miss Alaya the vampire will be having an interrogation with the infamous Artemis Fowl II. How will they react to each other? Will Artemis be able to stand Alaya and her embarrassing words or will Alaya win the game and tire out our beloved Mud Boy? Here it is for you to see.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Artemis Fowl, because Eoin Colfer does and I hate him for that. Why won't he just give Arty to me?

Also, the quote "Fate is..." is from one of my notebooks I found last week under my desk where I keep all the unnecessary things. Since there's no name under the quote, I cannot say who owns it, but I don't, so don't sue me.

I'm fully aware that the "gibbering moron" part is what he says to Juliet in the first book, so the original is Eoin Colfer's and I don't own it. I just made a reference, that's all.

Remember, no review, no chapter! I want at least three constructive criticism. 27th is my birthday, and I want a few birthday presents. Is it really too much to ask? *sniff*

**Chapter One: The Interrogation**

_"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: If there is any reaction, both are transformed."  
-Carl Jung_

My buzzing thoughts are scattered like flies and I can't seem to control the urges that keep telling me how strong I am and can take any damn life I want. My basic killing instinct, or should I say, the monster inside me, is craving for the boy's blood, who is sitting across me and gazing at me with those dark blue eyes. I can't help it, I can't help but think about how sweet his blood would be, how delicious and how warm-

"No." I mutter, looking at the table. I have to control myself. I can't afford to do this, the consequences would be severe, as Torrain likes to say. Ilona would most definitely castrate me for draining his blood. Female castration, that's oophorectomy, right?

He clears his throat.

I guess he now noticed how uncomfortable I am.

"Is there a problem you'd like us to solve? We aren't as hostile as you imagine."

My voice will be trembling as I speak. I don't want to speak. I hate sounding weak, but trying to control your voice, your looks and your thirst at the same time is a pretty hard thing to do; even though you are an almost 400-year-old vampire. Ilona or Sylvianne might accomplish this hard job perfectly perhaps, however you don't see me among them, do you?

"I never said I thought you lot to be hostile. I just have a problem only _you_ can solve and it would cause a lot of mess here. Literally."

I didn't just say that, did I?

He quirks an eyebrow.

Apparently, I did and made a fool of myself.

"Really? I don't see how it is only me who will end your distress. Have we met before and my actions affected you in an unfortunate way?..."

I don't hear his words anymore, I'm focused on the milky white skin of his neck, where the most delicious blood is flowing. His blood is rushing in those small veins, there, right there, and I can feel the rhythmic beat of his heart, pumping that wonderful liquid to every part of his body. He seems so fragile that it almost hurts me. I can easily snap his neck, and get out of the room before he can even blink. I'm not as fast as Torrain perhaps, still, I'm a better hunter than him and it would be so easy-

"...Miss? Are you listening to me? What you are doing right now is very rude."

"Huh? What?" I blink, trying to concentrate on what he is saying rather than that delicious blood singing to me. How do I know it's delicious before I taste it? Simple. I can smell the beautiful A+ scent all over him. He might be deathly pale for a human, but he sure has a good amount of blood.

The disappointment is evident in his eyes. Not in his face, he has such a strong self-control that if I wasn't so good at observing people (I have a few centuries of experience, after all), I would never see through his façade.

"I honestly hoped that you would be able to speak and answer my questions like any intelligent being would, but it seems you don't have any intention to prove me right. I'm-"

"-disappointed, I know, dear." I say, nodding. "I'm an intelligent being, yes, but as I told you before, I have a certain problem I need to solve and I'm afraid you stand too close. I don't wish to hurt you or anybody else for that matter, so would you be please so kind as to let me go and then return?" I know very well that this is not likely to happen, yet, it's worth a try. Maybe I can manipulate him...

He tilts his head and the movement causes his head to move exactly two millimeters to the left. His blood is flowing even faster in his veins now, I can feel the change in his pulse, For any average human, this is impossible to notice. Somehow, I know he does this on purpose. To find out if I'm able to see things in a different way than he does, I suppose. He wants to know which abilities my kind has. Well, I won't disappoint him this time. Maybe, if I tell him everything I know, he might get worried and panicked, so I can escape. However, there is a risk: If he doesn't lose his calm, he and the shorties won't let me go anywhere. Not that they would let me go before I told them all they wanted.

Frankly, I don't give a damn. He wants me to spill the beans? Fine, will do. I won't lose anything and perhaps, gain something. He may be a genius, however, I'm not a fool either. Let's play it by his rules, then.

I really want to see the look on his face when he hears it all. Maybe that silly façade of his will crack and show me who he really is. Maybe.

If I tell him everything... I said I don't give a damn, right? I know Ilona will get angry. That's an understatement, she'll be _crazy_. However, as far as I can remember, Ilona didn't mention anything about spilling all my knowledge of his background to him. Maybe she thought I was sensible enough not to make such a fatal mistake (a mistake in her eyes, yet I have a feeling that it will be a way to earn the right to see Fowl's shocked expression).

Oh how wrong she is.

"Okay, oh-so-mighty human, I'll tell you everything, don't worry. I have searched your background, I know who you are, what you do, who your allies and enemies are. I know that you found out the fairy civilization at the age of twelve. I know you rescued your beloved papa with the help of those shorties. I know that you made some kind of box that holds very high technology. I also learned that you somehow let a baboon named Jon Spiro snatch it from your hands and then you took it back from him in the most dramatic way possible. You're an absolute drama queen, despite the emotionless act you're putting up right now and I can tell, you know, from the I-hate-when-I-don't-get-my-way look in your eyes as well as your file written by these shorties. I also know almost all the waiters, waitresses and tailors in the continent, no wait, in Europe and Asia, would love to hear you're dead in some gruesome way. I guess their hatred is a consequence of the ever-present drama queen in you, eh?"

I let him gape at me. Well, he doesn't gape actually, but inwardly, I'm sure he does. His eyes betray him, there's shock in those dark blue orbs. As you can guess, the "dramatic" part is made up by me. I wasn't there, after all. However, I'm absolutely positive that he tried his best to be dramatic. Alright, he probably didn't try but just _did _it, after all, his file says he is a criminal mastermind, a real genius. And his aura is similar to I won't waste my breath to argue with that fact.

I better continue. I want that shocked look in his eyes to stay and satisfy me even further.

"I also know some strange, crazy pixie tried to kill you and your shorty friends. You somehow captured her and blah blah blah. I know you like Vivaldi's Four Seasons and prefer B Minor to end Schubert's unfinished Symphony No 8, and I agree with you on that part. I know your blood is A+. I know about your parents, Angeline and Artemis Senior. Well, that's all I can remember for now."

The last part is a lie, but he doesn't need to know that. I'm not gonna spill _everything_, he should think he is a bit safe at least. Just a bit. He'd freak out if he knew what he meant to Ilona anyway. No human wants that kind of fate.

"Exactly how did you manage to collect this much information about me? I highly doubt that your sources are _this_ informative."

His lips are a thin line but other than that, there's no change of expression on his emotionless face. He must be seething inwardly. Outside, however, as you can guess, he's just as calm and collected as he always seems to be. I don't believe this façade one bit. He's tricking himself, not me. I studied psychology for fifty years, and even if he's a genius, he must know that experience is much more useful.

Especially street experience.

He seems like a real prude. Let's embarrass him a bit.

"Well, what can I say? Being a female certainly helps you when you need information. It's all my natural good looks, baby. You wanna get _closer?_"

His face is still expressionless, but this time, I can swear I saw some pink in those pale cheeks of his. Now, I have to confess. In reality, I'm not a very beautiful girl. Pretty, yeah, but not beautiful. It's Sylvianne's job to look gorgeous all day and please people. My job is to show people how a vampire can be so clumsy and embarrass people frequently. Oh, and don't forget getting into trouble.

The thing about the looks is... Well, I said I was pretty, right? I have chin-length brown hair and green eyes. That's how I look like to humans, anyway. We vampires have these two forms: Vampire and human form. Stupid names, I know. There should be much cooler names for these forms, but alas, there's no one sane enough to think of this. When I get my butt out of here, I'll be sure to think about these names.

So, this brunette sitting in the dark, mysterious and very small interrogation room, is my human form. My vampire form would be too pretty and shiny for any human, too deadly for any animal and too normal for any vampire. I wouldn't want Fowl to go blind and miss the marvelous view. Hmm, he probably would come prepared for it and ruin all the fun but still...

Whatever. I'm kidding, really.

The human form is how you used to look like when you were human and you can control it. I can make turn myself from a pretty brunette into a pretty blond. Unfortunately, I can't change the features. However, every vampire chooses their own vampire form subconsciously, which is to say, we can't control our looks in the vampire form. For example, I look like a small, pretty purple-haired girl with a mischievous glint in her eye who is, sadly, as short as my human form. Now, if I could control my forms, I could easily make myself a lot taller and thinner. And my hair wouldn't be purple in my vampire form. I think green would be much better.

Hmm... Should I annoy him a bit more? I know for a fact that he hates being ignored. The guy wants all the attention directed to him. Sorry Arty, this relationship won't work out with you being such an attention-absorbing bitch.

"...Can I have your attention, please? I assumed with all your knowledge of me-"

I smile innocently. He hasn't figured it out yet.

"-you'd know by now that I don't enjoy being ignored as-"

His stare turns into a nice, icy glare as he stops talking, or should I say, drawling. So he did figure it out, after all. And they call him a genius. He's slow for a genius. Maybe that's me being a vampire and having faster reflexes but really, he's too slow for my liking.

He slowly inhales. His control is slipping, and I bet 20 bucks that he is a bit anxious about the way the whole interrogation turned out and he will lose his calm.

"I believe we should be focusing on you, rather than me, Miss Ibarron. I'd like to hear your full name, though. My sources, unfortunately, aren't able to gather much information about people if they are supposed to be dead many years ago."

I guess I just lost 20 bucks to myself.

The fact that he knows my name is unnerving. It bothers me very very much. How the hell did he find out my name? My surname, perhaps, but still... He shouldn't know about me. He isn't supposed to. How did he do it, then?

Maybe if I ask nicely enough, he'll answer me. Just maybe.

"Uh, Fowl? Can I ask you a question first?"

He is calm. His eyes are cold. His whole posture screams superiority. And I realize I hate him more than I had hated Ilona when I had first met her.

"You can and you just did, Miss Ibarron. One more question."

Dammit. Why does he have to call me by my name? I mean, I am very well aware of the fact that usually in a conversation, you address the person you're speaking to with their name or title or surname. But it sounds so... so... _mocking _when he says it.

Of course it sounds _mocking_. He _is_ mocking me.

"How were you able to find out my surname?"

He smirks. I want to wipe out that smirk by pressing my lips on his and-

Wait, what? What the hell? How could I ever think of something like that? He's holding me here in this stinky hole against my will and I start fantasizing about kissing him? Am I going nuts? Or has it been too long since I last got laid? Come to think of it, it _has_ been pretty long. Been pretty long since I last fed too. Damn.

He leans closer. Oh no. The smell is getting much stronger. Much better.

Not really.

"Until you tell me what you were sent here for, I won't tell you how I did."

Shit. If I don't die of boredom, then curiosity will be the death of me.

"I won't tell _you_ if you don't tell _me_."

I'm pretty stubborn. I won't withdraw from this. I will stay strong. I am the most headstrong vampire the Underground has ever seen. I shall not succumb, I am strong, I am not weak-

Oh but his smell... He smells wonderful. Fantastic. It's a heavenly smell. His blood screams to be drunk. I can just drain him, right here, right now.

Right, like Ilona would let me live after that.

What about a few drops, then? This brings out the question: Would I be able to stop if I started? Probably not. Not that I'd want to stop. However, dear Ilona is a very very serious obstacle between me and him.

We start a staring contest. He stares coldly and doesn't feel the need to blink, I suppose. No problem. I'm much more experienced in this game. I've beaten Sylvianne, now this ought to count for something.

He doesn't blink. He's much better than I thought. Still, there's no way in hell I'm gonna let him win a staring contest with me.

_**Five minutes later...**_

He still doesn't blink. He has to blink, he's a human. How can he refrain himself from blinking for such a long time as five minutes?

I give up. He's a bloody wonder. I can't believe I lost The Title to him. To a _human_, especially _him_. Sylvianne must NOT learn this or I won't hear the end of it. I better speak and stop him before he starts boasting.

"Fine. Let's talk about me, then. The name is Alaya Miren Ibarron, born in Labourd to the oh-so-magnificent Ibarron family. I'm brunette, with green eyes and I guess I'm a head shorter than you. Or maybe even shorter. I enjoy listening to classical or jazz music, playing the piano and singing in the bathroom. I hate cooking or any housework because I'm very lazy. I also hate Béla Bartok's piano pieces because I've always had difficulty trying to figure them out when I was younger. I like Moussorgsky's Promenade and N.4 Byldo beacuse the first one is cheerful whereas the latter is very gloomy and I enjoy the clash of opposites. I can recite the entire classical music history because I had a hell of a music teacher. I don't like animal blood but when I have to drink it, I do. Your blood smells heavenly and I've been trying to avoid snapping your neck in half since I first came into this stinky hole you call an interrogation room. Oh, and the flash news: I'm a vampire! A bloodsucker! How bloody awesome!"

He is unaffected by my speech and nicely built sarcasm I've worked so hard to create. I want to strangle him for being so calm and collected and expressionless. Why doesn't he show any emotion? WHY? It's pointless, isn't it? We both know he's annoyed with me.

"I already knew you were a vampire, Miss Ibarron. It's quite hard to ignore the fact when you're staring at my neck with such a longing look. Thanks for the unnecessary information. However, I'd like to focus on your work. _Why_ were you sent here? What is it that you want from _me_? I don't meet vampires everyday, as you're probably aware of."

I nod.

"Yeah, and definitely not the pretty ones. You have a weird look in your eyes, too, Junior. I doubt it's bloodlust like mine. Perhaps there weren't enough woman around you, huh? We can always change that. You can get me out of here, and I can fix your problem. We can go to your house, specifically your bedroom and-"

He's reddening. Whether it's from anger or embarrassment, I don't know. I guess it's a mix of two. I won't stop, though. He deserves it for being an iceberg.

"-I'm pretty sure I can handle the rest. I'm very experienced you know. It's an 'almost-400-year-old' vampire sitting in front of you. Not that I spent all those years only with those kind of activities, yet I can assure you, you don't get to find a girl as good and willing as me. I need a-"

He sighs. He is cracking. I never thought I could use embarrassment to my advantage. I like this guy and his conservative ways.

"-good sex once in a while, too, you know. We vampires are quite-"

"Enough."

His voice is calm and serene, but there is more than that. I can hear a tinge of anger mixed into his voice, and perhaps a bit embarrassment.

"Oh, sorry. Is it something I said? Or are you homosexual?"

As far as I know, his people aren't very open-minded regarding the sexual preferences. Or maybe it's just him who's uncomfortable about discussing these things. He was probably taught to suppress this kind of physical needs. Or perhaps he was not. I've seen his mother, I still can't believe such an unfeeling bastard came out of that lovely and kind woman. Phew.

"I think that we strayed too far from our actual topic. And no, I'm not interested in men. I'm not interested in you. I'm only interested in the reason of your arrival. I appreciate your effort on attempting to distract me, however, as you probably know, I'm a genius and don't get distracted by such pathetic attempts like the ones you've just performed."

The redness on his face is gone, though there's still that pinkish tinge to his cheeks.

"I really don't think so, honey. You were quite good at blushing there, you know. And I don't care if your preferences are unusual, we can work our way around them, if you get what I mean."

Winking, I smile wider. I like this guy and his _shyness _about a _particular subject _very, very much. I suppose he was raised as a true gentleman. Too bad he has to face the harsh reality of this cruel world: Women are natural manipulators. This is not to say women are sinners or something utterly stupid I won't even attempt to pronounce. We are too smart for our own sakes, and that's it. As a woman, everything I have is a potential weapon against men: My looks, my scent, my voice... Especially my hair. I had to work hard on my hair. And these damn shorties don't even provide me with a curling iron! Damn them! I'll murder each of them in the most inhumane and cruelest way as possible. I'll-

"...Are you there, Miss Ibarron? I'm beginning to think you have a serious problem with focusing on a particular subject. Such a short attention span. Aren't you vampires supposed to be more intelligent than an average person? It must come with age but perhaps the reverse is also true. I'm afraid I can't see any interesting quality of yours besides your obvious knowledge of intercourse. You seem to be orientated on that matter only."

"Orientation... Fate is far too orientated on the solution to be fixated with the problem. Perhaps that's your problem, love, you're too focused on other matters to discuss sex freely. Did they send you to some Catholic school to avoid breaking young ladies' hearts? I bet your Mama saw the future and she did, didn't she? Your file says some fancy-ass private school for boys but that must be a front, otherwise you'd surely not blush so prettily. The offer still-"

"Miss Alaya, I believe that we should revert our attention back to-"

/

I think I need an aspirin. Or something stronger, like Vicodin. I'll be a drug addict in no time.

It has been about three hours since we first came into the interrogation room. I haven't spilled out why I came here yet and used all my weapons to my benefit. By weapons, I mean what a girl can have as weapons. The boy gets red so easily that it's embarrassing. He should learn to control himself about this blushing thing. He can control his face perfectly when it comes to anything but sexual relationships. He is the most fun I've had in weeks. Messing up Sylvianne's hair-dye or winning a staring contest with her can't even compare to _this_.

"Come on boy, you're eighteen for crying out loud! You shouldn't have any problem with talking about such matters. Besides this is a perfectly normal and healthy activity. Your body needs it like it needs water. This is just... a truth of the world. Deal with it."

He sits with that blank look in his eyes and that usual pinkish tinge is on his cheeks._ Again._ He's in control of himself now. Mostly.

"Miss Ibarron, I have to confess. You are the first being in the world whom I had to interrogate for three hours without telling me what I wanted. I congratulate you for that. Most people don't last fifteen minutes. However, if we don't make any progress, then the fairies will take the matter into their hands. I should warn you: They are very serious about this... complicated situation. You did, after all, hack into their system and broke security protocols. They won't be as gentle as I am."

I snort. He stares at me with unbelief and disgust in his eyes.

"I know that snorting is _not _ladylike, you don't have to tell me, Junior."

He opens his mouth to say something, probably to lecture me on it and the fact that I called him Junior was oh-so-irritating, but I beat him to it.

"You know, Fowl, I honestly don't believe you're gentle. I hate the fairies more than I hate you, though. After all, they didn't even find me a curling iron."

Eyes are rolled, as expected.

"Curling iron? Is that the only thing you can think about other than sex?"

My eyes widen. He actually said 'it' without turning red all over the face.

"You said it Junior! You actually said it! I'm proud of you, dear. I knew you'd grow up to be a man, not a blushing virgin." I sniff, inwardly shocked to see he's becoming a man now. Nah, didn't think this would happen so soon. I guess helping him shocked more than that. I never thought I'd help my kidnapper about saying the word 'sex'.

He doesn't move. He's much calmer, though. That glint in his eyes makes me feel a bit scared...

"I won't be a gentleman anymore. This was the last straw, Miss Ibarron."

I feel a push in my head. No, my mind. It's... weird. Is Ilona near? Perhaps she's coming to rescue me?

A girl can at least try to be hopeful.

I hope Ilona can come before he does what he's planning to do, because I didn't like that malicious look in his eyes.

He's sneering. That's bad.

That's very, _very bad_.

/

I won't tell anyone what happened after that. I'll keep it a secret until I die. Only he and I know what happened and it will stay this way. I can't survive the embarrassment I will feel after confessing _that_ to someone.

No no no, don't think of any bad, perverted things. He told the shorties to shut the camera and give us a bit privacy because... Well, I can't say that, but I can tell you: Nothing happened in _that_ way. He's such an iceberg whose bottom can't be seen so easily. And I don't mean it literally.

Anyway, he has what he has wanted now. I told him why I was here. Why I was searching about him, hacking into the pony's magnificent data network to find out more information regarding him. I feel a bit guilty for confessing all my dastardly deeds. However, there's no way I will let him spread what he has just heard from me. I can't live with that. If he tells anyone, they'll know my weakness. I can't bear that.

The cameras are recording again. Or maybe they never stopped recording and I was merely fooled by Fowl. That's a horrifying thought, but a possibility nonetheless. Anyway, I should focus on more pressing matters, such as learning how he found out my name.

"Now that you know why I'm here, will you tell me how you found out my name? C'mon Fowl Junior, you gotta tell me!"

"It's Artemis Fowl II, not Junior. Please try to remember this. This must be the twentieth time I've corrected you."

"Do I seem like I care? _Answer_ me!"

We are _still_ in the interrogation room. I think I hate this room. It's so... blank, devoid of life and colors and... Oh, I don't know. I just feel extremely uncomfortable in this room. Like I'm about to hear incredible bad news that I thought I never would hear.

He stares at me, the smugness evident in his features. His victory over me may give him the right to be smug, I admit that. However, he shouldn't forget what I am and act according to this. I'm a vampire and he's my food. He should be able to see this and stop smirking like an utter idiot and looking so good. I'm getting angry.

C'mon boy, stop being so smug!

Damn.

Who am I kidding? The boy is so happy he won that he wouldn't care if one of those shorties dropped dead, let alone me charging at him, shouting "FOOD!" with a crazy glint in my eyes. Brr. Even imagining _that_ makes me feel excited and cold. His blood would be delicious. SO delicious that-

"You desire this knowledge so much that it surprises me. I assume you don't like being left in the dark."

I nod. He got that right.

He stares at me and starts talking again. His delicate mouth forms the words, but I don't hear them, I'm concentrated on his hypnotizing voice. How can he sound so emotionless when he's talking about a person? And well, I confess, since that person is me, it hurts a bit.

I know it shouldn't. That's a very stupid thing.

It hurts. It shouldn't. It _mustn't_.

I have to clear my mind.

He's still talking like a puppet - devoid of emotion. Can he show his emotions - genuine ones, not the fakes - or is he too cold for that? I hope not.

C'mon Alaya girl, stop thinking about him. Concentrate on his clothes or something.

Right, will do.

He's still in that suit - Armani, right? - and he... Oh goodness! I'll not try tricking myself so I can forget him by calling him ugly. The truth is too far away from that, I can't even lie about it: He looks unbelievably handsome. He can even challenge Brad Pitt with the way he's standing now. (And I'm his fan, watched all his films, oh my, he's gorgeous! I wish I could turn him into one of us and force him to stay with me... But Ilona would do that before me and he'd choose her and I'd be upset forever and- Whatever.) He looks very charming and clean even after a three hours twenty minutes thirty-two seconds of interrogation session with me. Which is rather unimaginable, since most of the interrogators get out of the room breathless and their clothes are always wrinkled, sometimes unbuttoned. He broke a tradition today.

I just did swoon for him. Inwardly, thank the Gods. Because of his stupid Armani suit, natural good looks, dark blue eyes with that charming iciness, pitch-black hair that I managed to get messy and caused him to look much better than he did when he first came into the room, the charismatic way of standing, that milky white skin of his vein-showing neck, his wonderful A+ blood... Ahhh.

Sometimes even _I_ can't understand myself. I told myself not to feel the slightest bit of attraction for a human again, didn't I? I said that I won't be a victim of Stupid Stockholm Syndrome. That the only thing I would ever want from him would be his blood. Do I listen to my bloody self? No. I shouldn't have fallen for the boy. This is stupid. Utterly, completely stupid. Worse than falling for a fictional character. I have admitted my crushes and other stuff in the most unimaginable places, yet there has never been an LEP Interrogation Room. I guess there's a first for everything.

So, I'm falling for the guy. Wonderful. Bloody wonderful. Fan-fucking-tastic. Go try killing yourself once again, Alaya.

And sometimes I hate myself. Mostly because I have a tendency to fall for people I can't reach. He's already Ilona's, isn't he? This darned crush will only help me end up with another broken heart. Just like two-hundred and twenty years ago. I won't let _anything_ like _that_ happen _again_. Period.

"...that family crest-"

Family crest? What's he talking about? I didn't wear my necklace yesterday, I'm absolutely positive of that.

"-was enough for me to guess your surname, mostly-"

"What? What family crest?"

He raises an eyebrow delicately.

"That family crest we found on your necklace. It's not on you now, of course, since you may use it to your advantage somehow, we took it from you."

Dammit. I took it with me. I couldn't get away from the damn thing, could I? No, I have to risk myself, my identity by wearing the stupid thing and not even knowing about it. I'm really a fool.

Let's embarrass him a bit more. That will definitely make me feel much better.

"I guess I should be happy they left my clothes on. But that doesn't make _you _very happy, does it? I can easily take them off if _you_ want."

He closes his eyes and tries to breathe. Poor boy. I wonder if I harass him too much. Whatever. He deserves this for wasting my time with his sarcasm and know-it-all speeches. I like sarcasm but hate know-it-alls. And he is one. Let's focus on that hatred, Alaya, instead of swooning over him like a schoolgirl. I sigh as he opens his mouth to speak.

"Miss Ibarron-"

Phew. So formal, Arty boy. Stop being so stiff. Loosen up.

"Call me Alaya, dearest."

"Miss Alaya-"

Ah, that's better. But not good enough.

"Just Alaya is fine, honey."

Honey? What the hell was I thinking, calling him honey? Oh, dammit, this brings bad things to my mind... Ew.

"_Alaya, _could you please refrain yourself from making references to a subject that doesn't concern us right now?"

I smile. He has no clue.

"I think it does."

He tilts his head, seemingly interested. Ha, like I believed that.

"And how, pray tell, does this concern us? As far as I know, during an interrogation, the interrogator and the suspect are supposed to talk about the suspect's crimes or attributes, not his or her preferences. Especially not the investigator's preferences."

Now we have come to a nice part where I'll surprise Arty with my smart-alec line. Kidding, don't take this seriously.

"Well, Fowl, I have been interrogated before, perhaps a thousand times. And I have never had an icy sculpture, with a shyness my little sis used to have when she was trying to ask a boy which day it was, as my interrogator. This interrogation session has passed so... how should I say... _cold_?"

Cold, yes, very cold. You are like the Arctic, Arty-boy, I'm shivering. Whether from your attitude or the absence of blood I cannot know for sure, but

"...your attention span is too short for your own sake and my patience is wearing out, so could you _please_ try to focus? I just asked you a question. I'd be glad to see you pay attention and answer me. Let us proceed with the fact that I'm not a gibbering moron and you actually have the ability to answer when you are asked a simple question."

I roll my eyes. Like I didn't know that.

"Sure. Right. Okay. Do continue, please."

His eyes are cold. Not that I expected any difference in those dark blue orbs. It'd be impossible for him to transform into a symphathetic fool.

He stands up.

"We'll have another conversation tomorrow. I'll tell your guards to make you look more presentable, not in those horrid clothes."

Horrid? What's horrid about them? I'm wearing a plain, black corset dress with black boots. _That's_ not presentable?

"I'll wear nothing for you next time, then, Junior. I'm sure you'll find _that_ presentable."

He shakes his head in an exhausted manner. I'm not surprised at his reaction, I've been harassing him about this particular subject for a long time. It's a fairly normal one. I actually pity him for having to put up with me for such a long time. I also pity myself for being in the same room with him. I think I should pity myself more, after all, he's the infuriating genius.

He stares at me. He's taken what he wants, then why doesn't he leave me alone? I need to clear out everything, to contemplate about the whole interrogation. Why is he still here? Oh dammit!

Dark blue eyes clash with sea green.

"You're incorrect. I'd prefer a fancier corset dress, perhaps a green one. Black doesn't suit you, Miss Alaya."

He leaves the room.

I bow my head.

He won.

I lost.

I lost today. To him. But I'll win next time. When I have a clearer mind and have the liberty to act on my decisions, not on Ilona's. I will beat Artemis Fowl II in his own game without revealing anything important to him. He'll die, alone, with my secret. This doesn't have anything to do with my emotions. My ambition is more than this silly crush. I know it is.

And this makes it all the more complicated.


End file.
